Hello! Wow, it’s actually hard for me to ask you a question because I understand what you are saying. I find that I am answering my questions faster than I can type them. I suppose my question is, where is the line drawn as far as sanity is concerned.. recently with my “research” I have begun to noodle the idea that 1. This is some kind of simulation, or grand experiment, 2. I have the ulitmate ability to create anything I want if I can convince my brain to believe that it is possible. I am in the space between the question and the answer, and I am SO convinced that I need another human’s opinion. Do you think that we are simply “stuck” in this plane of existance? Has anyone to your knowledge discovered a means of escaping this seemingly Platonic allegory? I feel like I am part of an infinity of ambiguity.. is it possible to create reality from this ambiguity? Have I alone set a chain reaction of thoughts creating the entire environment wherein I sense things? Should I just be meditating and reset this machine I call a brain? What are the lottery numbers going to be tomorrow?
These are questions that philosophers have struggled with for hundreds of years. How do I prove reality? How do I know that there is anyone else? Where does “I” end and everything else begin? Great minds have spent volumes on this, so I don’t blame you for feeling overwhelmed.
But some of the things you mention can be tested. Can you create something because you believe it is possible? When testing this, make sure it’s something essentially impossible (like a sliding door in your bedroom ceiling) and not something just unlikely (a streetlight winking off).
As for the non-testable things — you’re pretty much just describing solipsism or external world skepticism. If you are having severe anxiety about this, you may (although I consider it unlikely) be experiencing solipsism syndrome. That’s usually caused by living somewhere that you do not have much exposure to open spaces or you are usually in the dark — but just in case, if you are feeling intensely uncomfortable about this, you might want to seek counseling.
If not, then I suggest that you try and come to grips with the fact that there are indeed unprovables in the universe. There’s nothing wrong with this. We just make the best life we can with what we have — and what we know.