Rape: not so bad?

From the IAmAnAtheist feedback form:

As I predicted you like banging the rape drum. Yes, I know that rape is bad but you have to admit that there are a lot of worse things, like terminal disease, loss of a limb, or despair. I know it’s humiliating but when it’s over it’s over, not like cancer.

Yes, a Christian woman suffers less from rape than another woman. Are you asking me if I think rapists should go after Christian women? Well if they do they will be faced with the strength and will of the Lord and may even come to His side when they see how little their pathetic abuse can do to a woman of faith!

No you didn’t misunderstand about why rape is a sin. It makes no sense for it to be a sin for a man to rape his wife since a man can’t rape his wife. It’s just not logical, like stealing your own car or pocking your own pocket.

Maybe you got raped and enjoy harping on it. Well the whole world doesn’t revolve around you. Get over it, clear your head and come to God.

I’m only posting your response to my blog because I’m having so much trouble believing that someone would actually say such things. It’s people like you who give intelligent, moral Christians a bad name.

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 7:05 am by ideclare · Permalink
In: Morality

40 Responses

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  1. Written by levhita
    on May 13, 2010 at 7:41 am
    Reply · Permalink

    So, God will only show his strength against rapists of Christian?.

  2. Written by Censored One
    on May 13, 2010 at 6:47 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    You’re not replying to my emails or posting them any more so I have to assume that you are trying to ignore me. This is grossly unfair as you have not allowed me to complete the discussion and left me sounding like a jerk.

    I am not at all saying that rape is okay or allowed. My point is that it’s a topic like Hitler that people (atheists) always bring out in arguments for shock value when it really doesn’t fit their point. I admit that I have maybe a bias because I’m a man and frankly I have a hard time imagining that I’d be traumatized for life if a woman forced herself on me. Maybe it’s really different for women but you have to admit that on the surface it doesn’t make a lot of sense for something to be incredibly pleasurable if one person does it to you and horrible if another person does it to you. I admit I might be wrong but I still think it’s probably overblown. There are a lot of worse things (like abortion).

    In addition I’m not advocating that God only punishes people who rape Christian women or only protects Christians. What my meaning is is that Christianity makes us strong and that a Christian can stand up to ANY kind of adversery better than a non-Christian because he has God’s strength behind him. You also must remember that God never gives us more of a trial than we can handle. If you have been raped and feel traumatized by it take comfort that God has not abandoned you and that He knows you can get through this.

    I’m praying for you all.

    • Written by ideclare
      on May 13, 2010 at 6:49 pm
      Reply · Permalink

      This conversation is way, way beyond my disgust level. Despite what you apparently believe, there is no chance that you represent anything like a large number of Christians.

      I’m posting this one comment and never posting another comment from you on this subject. If that makes you feel censored, so be it. You can go be insane on your own blog.

    • Written by blasphemousimplosion
      on June 28, 2010 at 4:30 am
      Reply · Permalink

      Try saying this to yourself once you’ve actually been raped by a woman or a man.

      Or if, let’s say, your mother or sister or daughter or girlfriend or wife happen to encounter this misfortune…put an arm around them and tell them with conviction, what you believe in. “Hey, it’s not that bad!”

      Please don’t pray for us.

  3. Written by ed42
    on May 13, 2010 at 8:39 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    “No you didn’t misunderstand about why rape is a sin. It makes no sense for it to be a sin for a man to rape his wife since a man can’t rape his wife. It’s just not logical, like stealing your own car or pocking your own pocket.”

    Are you insane? So your wife is your property and you can dispose of her as you wish? No wonder I despise your monster god.

  4. Written by Kim
    on May 18, 2010 at 7:49 am
    Reply · Permalink

    So, women are nothing more than chattel to be passed around as a man sees fit.

    What a disgusting excuse for a human being. No wonder so many of us hate the Christian god when this is what we see as it’s representative.

  5. Written by Liz
    on May 18, 2010 at 2:46 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    Wow. You are so incredibly repulsive. You say you only “sound” like a jerk–wrong. You ARE a jerk!!! YES, RAPE IS A SIN, YOU NUTJOB!!!

    Maybe you have the wrong idea of what “rape” means, judging by your statement that you “have a hard time imagining that [you'd] be traumatized for life if a woman forced herself on [you].” Rape is, basically, FORCED sex. Do you REALLY think God likes when one person FORCES himself/herself on someone else and shows a total lack of respect? Rape can occur between two friends, two strangers, two relatives (think siblings or a parent and a child), even two spouses. God did not give us the holy union of marriage so that two people can show blatant disrespect and lack of concern for one another. Last time I checked, most people marry these days because of mutual love, NOT because the one person wants to be the other’s sex slave.

    Additionally, rape DOES last a lifetime–in pain, in distrust (even after the victim has forgiven the attacker), even in sexually transmitted diseases. Yes, most–if not all–STDs last forever, including AIDS, which some Christian denominations (including Catholicism) used to believe was a sin itself.

    I’m praying for you and your soul–because, apparently, you don’t have one.

    Sincerely,
    A Christian and a Church Employee

  6. Written by Megan
    on May 18, 2010 at 3:51 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    Censored One–You sir are a complete moron. I hope your “god” banishes you to hell for you seriously idiotic view on rape.

  7. Written by Ansonidak
    on May 18, 2010 at 5:28 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    No one made you sound like a jerk except yourself. Real Bronze age Old Testament stuff there. It’s reprehensible. Disgusting even. You can join the 21st century any time now.

  8. Written by Cyberdraco
    on May 18, 2010 at 5:31 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    PZ Meyers posted,”This is the kind of person you don’t argue with…just walk away.”

    I don’t think that is sufficient. You should run away from someone who actually takes such a stance seriously.

    I would argue that this man is delusional, but that is not being far to all the other religious people out there-perhaps he is trying out for a position at the Vatican?

  9. Written by Ichthyic
    on May 18, 2010 at 5:54 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    I admit that I have maybe a bias because I’m a man and frankly I have a hard time imagining that I’d be traumatized for life if a woman forced herself on me.

    what if a man forced himself on you?

    your bias is against rationality, it has nothing to do with your sex, per se.

  10. Written by Ichthyic
    on May 18, 2010 at 5:55 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    Are you insane? So your wife is your property and you can dispose of her as you wish?

    he never stopped beating his wife.

  11. Written by Ichthyic
    on May 18, 2010 at 5:56 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    I’m praying for you all.

    *looks up english translation*

    ah, yes, screw you too!

  12. Written by Ichthyic
    on May 18, 2010 at 5:57 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    there is no chance that you represent anything like a large number of Christians people

    sadly, I’m sure he represents ENOUGH people that you would probably be even sicker knowing.

  13. Written by Ichthyic
    on May 18, 2010 at 5:59 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    Christian can stand up to ANY kind of adversery better than a non-Christian because he has God’s strength behind him.

    freedom is slavery

    ignorance is strength…

  14. Written by linzel
    on May 18, 2010 at 6:00 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    @Censored One:
    Your religion has deluded you beyond recognition. Please do not pray for me. I do not need, want, or ask for your wasted breath. Rather use you time to watch this poem.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9QI4v9Jehs&feature=player_embedded

    Praying you understand her position would be pointless. But I’ll hope you’ll watch it.

  15. Written by Ichthyic
    on May 18, 2010 at 6:01 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    You also must remember that God never gives us more of a trial than we can handle. If you have been raped and feel traumatized by it take comfort that God has not abandoned you and that He knows you can get through this.

    so your earlier example of cancer then…

    terminal cancer patients are thus abandoned by your god?

    the stupid, it burns.

  16. Written by Aaron
    on May 18, 2010 at 6:46 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    “This is grossly unfair as you have not allowed me to complete the discussion and left me sounding like a jerk.”

    I find it hilarious that, even after you continue the dicussion you sound like a jerk, perhaps even more so. You just don’t get it, do you? You just don’t get it.

    Rape isn’t some little thing that happens, it’s a fucking serious issue (and I hope my curse isn’t moderated, as it’s the best way I could express my exasperation at this moron). You make me sick, and very very angry.

  17. Written by Megan
    on May 18, 2010 at 8:18 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    I am appalled by you, you sickening excuse for a human being. When I was still christian I was stalked. Came very close to being raped. Over a decade later this incidence is still having ramifications on my life. It takes a long time for a male to earn my trust, longer before I’m willing to be alone in the same room with him, even longer before I’ll get into a car with him. It has left a smear of fear across my psyche that I constantly battle… and I wasn’t even actually raped.

    You say you can’t see how it’s that bad? Being raped is to be completely overpowered, to have your self taken from you, ripped from you, used and dirtied because some asshole couldn’t keep his penis in his pants. You are treated like a thing, like less than dirt, not human. You go through the entire experience in abject terror; will he kill you when he’s done so you can’t go to the police; will you contract an STD, potentially even AIDS, if he decides not to kill you? And then you’re left there, either a corpse, or a battered shell of an individual.

    It’s the same if it’s stranger or husband. In some ways, I imagine husband might be worse because he’s not only raping you, but the trust, the love you put into that marriage. He uses and sullies those fundamentally good emotions because he *can*.

    You, beast, animal, ARE a jerk for thinking that rape in marriage is like stealing from yourself, and thinking in general that rape is not that bad.

  18. Written by Survivor
    on May 18, 2010 at 8:19 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    To “Censored One”: Obviously you aren’t very censored as you were allowed to post here, try looking up the word if you don’t know what it means. In fact maybe you should look up what rape really is.

    Rape is not sex. Rape is not pleasurable. Rape typically has very little to do with sexual desires. It is about domination and power.

    I’ve been raped and I’ve had sex. Sex is enjoyable with some one that you care for and trust.

    Rape is brutal and vicious. I was beaten, and striped of my dignity and my confidence, and left for dead. I spent 2 days in the hospital because I was so bruise, my hip was fractured and my shoulder dislocated.

    If a woman forced herself on you, beat you and left you in a pool of your own blood, I think you would then be traumatized for life.

  19. Written by Mirabithia
    on May 18, 2010 at 8:27 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    Censoredone, have you never heard of context or consent? You can run 15 miles a day. The context determines whether you are training for a marathon or the victim of a death march. You can eat 500 calories a day as part of a voluntarily chosen fad diet or because you community is in the middle of a famine situation. You can go swimming or you can get caught in flood waters. Giving money to charity is different from being mugged. Do you understand?

  20. Written by Melissa
    on May 19, 2010 at 12:45 am
    Reply · Permalink

    Censoredone, you are not censored enough. Your comments are disgusting. I am actually ashamed to have anyone know I’m a Christian now that you’ve identified yourself as one. You need to learn the Gospel, and to pay attention to the love and mercy of God in Christ, and for God’s sake please shut up until you have learned it.

    Just how many people do you think you draw to Christ with your hateful and insensitive comments? Judging by the comments here, NONE.

    To the others here, you should know that this person’s comments have nothing to do with Christianity. Jesus protected a woman who was caught committing adultery and was being victimized by a crowd. He spoke up about protecting those in society who had little power, like women and children. Don’t judge all Christians by this person’s remarks.

  21. Written by J.C. Samuelson
    on May 19, 2010 at 1:58 am
    Reply · Permalink

    What an utterly despicable attitude. You, sir, are not merely clueless, you’re dangerous. Your misogynistic (look that up) notions have a place, but it isn’t in decent society.

    As the father of a girl just coming of age, I find it truly disturbing that there are still people like you running around free in the world. I suspect even the Taliban might find your attitude repulsive.

    Words are just inadequate…

  22. Written by Bee
    on May 19, 2010 at 2:37 am
    Reply · Permalink

    “You must remember that god never gives us more of a trial then we can handle”

    This is the problem I have with your “god”.

    If he is the kind of god that lets men and women get raped as a ‘trial’, then he is the lowest form of scum, and I would rather spend the rest of eternity in the center of Dante’s inferno then sitting on a fluffy cloud with him.
    If he does not allow it as a form of ‘trial’ then must not be powerful enough to stop it, and thus isn’t much of a “god”.

    And about that whole ‘does not make sense if it is pleasurable from one person but horrific by another’ then I guess if a man knocked you down, dragged you into an alley, and blew you, you would enjoy the experience as much as you would enjoy voluntary sex with a woman? (Fellow WTFiswrongwiththiscreep people, I know a blow job from the attacker is not the most likely outcome of a man-on-man sexual assault, but I’m going for something I am assuming he would enjoy)

  23. Written by Lynx
    on May 19, 2010 at 3:48 am
    Reply · Permalink

    @Censored One,

    Here’s an idea. Go to church, and then go up to the women of your church, one by one, and lay out your arguments as you’ve stated then here, one by one:

    1. Rape is “not a big deal”
    2. Rape is at most a sin of adultery and theft
    3. A husband cannot rape his wife in the same way you can’t steal your own car
    4. Women should just “get over it”

    Better yet, just read your comments aloud to them. Also read them to your pastor. I’m 100% atheist, but I’ll bet you cold hard cash that your Bible-believing church fellows will recoil from you in horror and every single woman in the church will stay far faaaaar away from you from then on.

    PS: You are a disgusting human being. Your attitudes are that of the Taliban. I don’t consider you an example of a Christian, I’m certain the vast majority of Christians would be just as disgusted with you.

  24. Written by Malcolm
    on May 19, 2010 at 4:51 am
    Reply · Permalink

    The only possible reasons I can think of for anyone to even imply that rape ‘isn’t so bad’, are that: A) They are trying to salve their own conscience; or B) They have no empathy, and are thus sociopathic.
    Which ever it is, they should be receiving psychiatric help.

  25. Written by Malcolm
    on May 19, 2010 at 4:55 am
    Reply · Permalink

    You also must remember that God never gives us more of a trial than we can handle.
    So that’s why no one ever commits suicide.

  26. Written by Chicks
    on May 19, 2010 at 5:49 am
    Reply · Permalink

    Troglodyte. Censored One, I’m pretty sure that you’re legally retarded. People like you shouldn’t be allowed internet access. Also, what you have posted is spreading through the internet faster than syphilis through the Venetians.

    It’s a little Old Testament of me to say something like this, but in your case, when ignorance is an obvious overwhelming factor in your opinions, I’m a strong believer in the ‘Eye for an eye’ theory. So I *really* hope that some big, hairy, sweaty lunatic in a luchador outfit sees what you’ve posted, finds out all your personal information and in response goes to your house and rapes you repeatedly. Hopefully for days on end. Just ties you up and rapes you. Then I hope that guy is heavily rewarded for his efforts, and you suffer for the rest of your wretched life.

    Let’s see how trivial it is then.

  27. Written by Monimonika
    on May 19, 2010 at 9:22 am
    Reply · Permalink

    Censored One:
    “Maybe it’s really different for women but you have to admit that on the surface it doesn’t make a lot of sense for something to be incredibly pleasurable if one person does it to you and horrible if another person does it to you. I admit I might be wrong but I still think it’s probably overblown.”

    It is incredibly pleasurable for a man to have his prostate gland stimulated. And since Censored One states that it doesn’t matter who is the one doing the “pleasurable act” upon another, he should be fine-&-dandy with some dude sticking a small dildo or long fingers (lubed, of course) into Censored One’s butt. Remember, Censored One, you’re not lying with this dude as you would a woman, so biblically you’re A-okay (the dude is also biblically not lying with you as if you are a woman, either).

    What if this was done against your will? Well, you’re a CHRISTIAN! A Christian MAN at that! God has provided you the spiritual macho strength to just laugh off the whole experience and even the strength to forgive the dude completely. Even if it happens again (and again, and again, and again), you will again laugh it off, showing how unaffected you are by whatever is done to you. That’ll show that dude the true way of handling abuses done onto you without your consent. Right?

    Or will you “whine” about it like a wimpy non-Christian woman?

  28. Written by MattS
    on May 19, 2010 at 4:07 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    This guy might get a better understanding of what rape is and how a Husband CAN rape his wife, if his wife raped him with a 2×4. It’s almost like he’s mixing up rape fantasies where a good looking dominatrix does what you’ve always wanted- with the reality of brutal violent rape.

    Dude, you do know that when someone is raped, they often think they might get killed right? Maybe you just need a big hairy man to hold a knife to you or drug you and then see if it’s no big deal.

  29. Written by DEE
    on May 20, 2010 at 12:22 am
    Reply · Permalink

    You do Not apparently know what your talking about.How can you know (unless it happened to you???)or are you a Rapist??Any forced act is to overpower NOT a sexual act,includes a Husband,etc.It is NEVER forgotten.Fear is very hard to overcome.You have caused many to feel Angry with your statements.You should ask Gods forgiveness .

  30. Written by w_nightshade
    on May 20, 2010 at 7:35 am
    Reply · Permalink

    re: The ridiculously overbearingly named Censored One – Rape is not about sex.

    I’ll say that again, so it sinks in.

    Rape is not, nor ever has been, about sex.

    Rape is about power. The rapist uses sex to dehumanise his or her victim, and to exert undue power over them. Period. Equating rape – in any way – with consensual sex belies a deep seated ignorance that must be addressed before any reasonable discussion can even begin.

    Plus the obligatory ad hominem: What a dick!

  31. Written by RM3
    on May 20, 2010 at 11:22 am
    Reply · Permalink

    Thank you everyone who commented with sanity. I cannot express how glad I am that there are SANE people like you in the world who can and do clearly see, without a shred of hesitation, how fucking batshit INSANE and DETRIMENTAL this lunacy is.

    It’s not just raving idiocy. It is DETRIMENTAL. Thank you everyone who decried it.

  32. Written by AnotherSurvivor
    on May 20, 2010 at 5:52 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    @CensoredOne…just like everyone else. I would like to respond with all the vitriol that I feel over these comments, but I cannot. No, not because I am “over it”, but because I am no longer surprised by this type of reaction by those of your ilk. Many years ago, I was a victim. Yes, it was brutal and violent, yes, I was a virgin, and no, I didn’t ask for it…I was on my way to the library. The animal who felt a need to dominate a young college student was not looking for sexual ya-yas, but needed to feel powerful by using brutality and humiliation against another human being. Yes, he thought I was dead when it was over. And he was right. That person that existed before stopped existing on that day. She was kind and trusting and optimistic and hopeful. Have I gone on? Of course I have. I have earned several degrees, raised a wonderful family, created a successful career, and hopefully left the community better than I found it. But never, EVER for a moment have I been the same. Never for a moment have I had the life I deserved…a life free of fear, mistrust, and anger that I must fight every day. Did this atheist survive? Obviously….and, given other hardships in my life, I defy any Christian woman to be as positive as I am. You however, have NO right to judge the experience. You have NO right to determine what “get over it” means, and you certainly have no right to spread your ignorance and unfounded judgment over anyone, least of all those of us who KNOW from whence we speak…as you obviously do not.

  33. Written by CallMeTonks
    on May 25, 2010 at 12:30 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    @ CensoredOne:

    So when you manage to get a woman to marry you, she becomes your property and is therefore obliged to pleasure you when and where you demand? She can’t say no and she can’t be hurt because marital rape isn’t actually rape, right?

    Wrong. During the course of a ten year marriage I was repeatedly raped by a man who had a forced sodomy fetish. He had sex with me whether I wanted it or not, including a week after an appendectomy and once while I was suffering so badly from bronchitis I actually stopped breathing during the act. Mr. Sensitive shook me until I started breathing again then finished.

    Did I owe that to him somehow? The fact that you think so makes me want to shoot you in the face with a rocket launcher.

  34. Written by Davide
    on May 26, 2010 at 2:32 am
    Reply · Permalink

    “It makes no sense for it to be a sin for a man to rape his wife since a man can’t rape his wife. It’s just not logical, like stealing your own car or pocking your own pocket.”

    Wow.
    Just wow.
    I don’t think this idiot actually understand how rape works.

    So damn sad…

  35. Written by Andrew_in_NH
    on June 20, 2010 at 3:30 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    So the correspondent can’t comprehend that if something feels good with one person it could be traumatic with another?

    I wish I could offer to him that, if your mother (or someone who loves you) serves you your favorite dessert after a lovely meal, you will probably enjoy it. If a seven-foot-tall person threatens to kill you, injures or restrains you (or both), and then crams that same dessert into your mouth with a plumber’s helper, holding your nose closed until you swallow and not caring whether you can breathe during the process, and doesn’t stop until they feel like it–might that be a little traumatic?

    Does knowing that the god of your choice loves you make it less traumatic? Do you think you will just get over it and enjoy that dessert again in a day or two? Will the sight of another seven-foot-tall person make you nervous thereafter? How will you enjoy conversation with your co-religionists when they tell you that this wouldn’t have happened if you had not been seen to eat food before, so you must have really wanted it to happen?–And, by the way, they have some more dessert they’d just love to help you enjoy.

    The seven-foot-tall person who did this to you, in case you weren’t paying attention, was just in high spirits and having a good time. If you go to the authorities, this person will say that you were hungry and asked for that dessert. Your word against theirs. The plumber’s helper? You asked for that, too! You told them it enhanced your dining pleasure, and they just wanted to make you happy. If it goes to trial, other tall people on the jury may feel that you really did ask for all that dessert, so why are you complaining now?

    If you get sick and vomit whenever you eat after this experience, you can’t go to a doctor because it’s obviously your god’s will. You should learn to love the food, so keep eating. There’s nothing really wrong with you. By the way, want some dessert with that? It’s good for you!

  36. Written by Tracy
    on June 22, 2010 at 10:28 am
    Reply · Permalink

    This is absolutely reprehensible. I cannot say enough just how disgusting a human being this Censored must be if he truly believes all that and I severely pity any woman who ends up with him since he obviously believes women are not people, but rather objects for men to do as they please with. Rape is not bad…yeah, okay. If you ever find yourself raped pal (and yes it does happen to men, and not just women forcing themselves on men but men forcing themselves on other men), please feel free to repeat all your misogynist drivel. It is very much a sin since you seemed to have missed the part in the Bible where it is prohibited, and indeed among the Jewish people for centuries rape was punishable by death, including rape within marriage. Yes it does exist. Denial ain’t a river in Egypt and a woman does not lose her autonomy after she gets married. She is not her husband’s property to do with as he pleases, she is her own person and if she doesn’t feel like having sex, guess what? It is rape if she says no, begs her husband to stop, or doesn’t want it!

    But then it sounds as though that doesn’t matter to you so I guess this is wasted breath.

  37. Written by Katie
    on June 22, 2010 at 8:40 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    Monimonika, you beat me to it. What if a woman raped you anally? What if it was a woman you were extremely unattracted to or even repulsed by?

    The other points I was going to argue have already been brought up, so I’m not going to bother- I think the only way to get it through your thick skull is for you to get raped.

  38. Written by Scot Copen
    on February 1, 2011 at 10:35 am
    Reply · Permalink

    Strange this post is totaly unrelated to what I was looking google for, however it was listed on the first page. I guess your performing something right if Google likes you enough to place you around the first web page of a non related search.

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