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 IAmAnAtheist » Imagining Death

Imagining Death

The below item is part of my "Conversations" series.

Two Christians on a cruise ship

Jake: I’m still incredibly tense.

Kaelyn: I’m sorry. I thought walking around the deck would help you feel less closed in.

Jake: Feeling closed in isn’t the problem. Everything I see or hear or smell — everything reminds me of Layla. With her gone, it’s like there’s this hole in me and my will to live is just pouring out of it.

Kaelyn: You can’t think of her that way. She’s not gone; she’s just waiting for you on the other side.

Jake: That’s what’s making it even worse. Even though we all knew it was coming, I never imagined this would hit me so hard. Her absence is so tangible, it’s really tough for me to keep believing that she’s still out there.

Kaelyn: But she is out there. Death can’t be the end. That’s just not possible.

Jake: Of course it’s possible.

Kaelyn: No, it’s not. You can imagine Layla, can’t you.

Jake: I can’t not imagine her. That’s the problem. But being able to imagine someone doesn’t mean they’re still there. I can imagine cartoon characters, too.

Kaelyn: I know; that’s not where I’m going with this. I want you to imagine yourself.

Jake: Okay.

Kaelyn: Now imagine that you don’t exist.

Jake: Like It’s a Wonderful Life?

Kaelyn: No — I don’t mean imagine what the world would be like without you, I mean imagine what it would be like to not exist, what the experience of it would be.

Jake: How can I imagine that?

Kaelyn: You can’t, and that’s the point. It’s so impossible for you to completely stop existing that you can’t even imagine it.

Jake: I think all that proves is that you can’t imagine anything after you die. That doesn’t help at all.

Kaelyn: I think it might if you let it give you comfort.

Jake: That stuff was fun to talk about when we were in college, but it’s all too real now for it to be anything but annoying. Screw this — I’m going to go find a buffet and eat the dessert table.


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Posted on September 30, 2013 at 7:45 pm by ideclare · Permalink
In: Conversations

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