Tract #6: How Do You Annoy an Atheist?
Download tract #6, How Do You Annoy an Atheist? (PDF). See page #3 for printing instructions.
How Do You Annoy an Atheist?
If you’re a theist and you aren’t interested in intelligent discussion but just want to irritate a nearby atheist, here are a few phrases you might find useful. (Use as your own risk.)
- “You’re an atheist? But you seemed so nice.”
- “Atheism’s a religion.”
- “Sure I have faith, but so do you.”
- “If you really didn’t believe in God, you wouldn’t spend so much time talking about Him.”
- “I don’t have enough faith to be an atheist.”
- “Hitler, Stalin — all the big murderers were atheists.”
- “You don’t disbelieve in God, you reject Him. You know in your heart that God exists.”
- “You’re going to burn in Hell!”
- “You are being deceived by Satan!”
- “Aren’t you horribly depressed?”
- “What horrible thing happened in your childhood to make you like this?”
- “Why do you hate God?”
- “You just reject God so you can sin without guilt.”
- “If there’s no God, then where do you go when you die?”
- “If there’s no God, why not kill people for fun?”
- “NASA computers calculating the positions of the planets found a missing day, proving the Bible is true.”
- “Atheists are selfish. All the big charities are religious.”
- “Hundreds of people saw the risen Jesus. How much more proof could you need?”
- “If you’d just read the Bible, you’d believe.”
- “If you’d just read the Bible with an open heart, you’d believe.”
- “If you’d just read the Bible with an open heart and put aside your prejudices, you’d believe.”
- “You believe in air and you can’t see that.”
- “There are no atheists in foxholes.”
- “A big bang implies a big banger.”
- “You can’t prove it didn’t happen.”
- “If you don’t believe in God you don’t believe in money because it has ‘In God We Trust’ on it.”
- “While your daughter was at our house for the slumber party last night, we had all the girls baptized.”
- “Sorry to hear your mother died and is going to Hell.”
And while you’re at it:
- Give God credit for anything good someone did.
- Praise God for saving you when 200+ others died.
- Blame a huge natural disaster on the results of a recent election.
- Insist that the Bible is the word of God (but never actually read the whole thing).
- End a discussion by shaking your head in a condescending, pitying manner.
on August 29, 2010 at 9:50 am
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My 21 year old son is an atheist. We had him in a christian school for four years, we went to church every sunday. When his grandfather died in our driveway on Christmas and my husband and I prayed for him to live our son was so upset that God did not answer the prayer that my Dad would live and our son has been disbelieving in Jesus ever since. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you! I will print this out for our son.
on December 29, 2010 at 10:53 am
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It is tough losing a loved one. While you want your father back, your son blames God for his grandfather’s death. Both of these responses are normal (see Kubler-Ross model, below). In the bible, the widow of Zarephath, who lost a son, blamed God’s representative, Elijah, for her loss, and Elijah also seems to have blamed God, or at least initially (1 Kings 17:18, 20). Having no pleasure in death (Ezek 8:32), Jesus understands your son’s outrage (Heb 4:15) and will not hold it against him (Matt 12:32). Whether or not your son ultimately decides for atheism should not be your most immediate concern. This is not a time for labels, but for comforting one another (1 Thess 4:13-18).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model
on May 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm
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Ignorance of epic proportions!
I can’t believe how many times I hear non-sense questions/assertions like these. Most times they are from a person who wishes to be combative and refuses to discuss their question/assertion.
on August 22, 2012 at 5:43 pm
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Atheists are easily annoyed because they know they’re wrong and can’t handle it LOL.
on October 9, 2012 at 12:26 pm
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Troll detected. 3/10
on February 27, 2013 at 3:15 pm
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Your son isn’t an atheist because of Grandpa’s death; he’s an atheist because you sent him to four years of Bible school. That’ll make an atheist out of anyone. Your son was probably pissed off because you spent all your time praying and not calling 911.